Talking With Monica

I was determined to get in to talk with Monica this morning and Mom said that she usually takes Friday off so I should be in kind of early just in case. I had Dad wake me up around 6:30am and we went out to breakfast at the Linkletter. That was kind of a painful experience for a few reasons. First, literally it was kind of painful because my back's been bothering me again and I left my meds at Mom's last night. Second, Dad and I really have a difficult time finding things to talk about and even though I know he wants to have a relationship with me, it's tough because the things that matter to him really don't to me and he's not good at small talk. I could start talking about the state of our garden this year, just looking for anything to have a normal social interaction and he'll turn it into how much longer he has and whether he wants to keep the house and where he'd live if he sold it. I wish I could find a way to convince him that not every conversation has to be about things of grave importance. Sometimes it's nice to just shoot the shit. Third, he's still twitchy and odd, the way he has been at least since his first heart surgery (honestly, I think the shock of how close he came that first time unhinged things a little bit, he's never been the same since then). He spilled some syrup on the table and when the waitress came by to wipe it up he flinched and hit her. Not hard but enough to make her jump too. He apologized and said he thought it was a fly on his arm, but this is just the kind of stuff I've come to expect from my dad over the last twenty years. I left her a big tip.

Anyway, after I left him I stopped by Mom's place -- Gregory and Zita had obviously been there after I left last night, still working -- picked up my Robax and posted the blog entry from last night. (With my old PBeM-style formatting, I knew I was forgetting something but I was in a rush to get to the hospital. Damnit. I'll have to try to remember to fix it this time.)

Damnit, one of the orderlies here is whistling Jingle Bells. That's going to be stuck in my head for a long time.

Janet just popped in. Finish later.