Talking With Monica - Pt. 2

Okay, so Janet is sitting with Mom for a bit (though mostly right now Mom's just sleeping and not doing much of anything else). Janet said she thought she saw Gregory sitting at Tim's on Granville, which fits the normal pattern for 10:00am on a weekday morning, so I thought I'd stop by there to chat with them and have my requisite coffee. I got there though and he wasn't there (but I saw a guy that could easily have been mistaken for my uncle from the road) so I just got my coffee and came here to Mom's place so I could post an update and maybe run into my aunt and uncle here.

They're not here right now, though, so I'll get this update up and if they haven't arrived by then I'll head back to the hospital.

I got to the hospital this morning just a little after 8:00am and by about twenty past Monica was there. Mom's instincts were right. We talked for a bit but since I'd been going into this meeting with a clear objective (just like the last one, have one or two, clearly defined objectives and stick to them) I quickly had her cornered. She kept it light as much as she could but after a couple of minutes I think she got the message that I wasn't being brushed off so she took me aside and gave me her best assessment.

It's not good. But I knew it wasn't going to be.

They're not doing IV feeding because Monica really only believes it will "prolong her dying, not her living". Her words. I guess she wanted to make sure she drove her point home. She gave me a pile of examples of times when they have done IV feeding for people around her and some of her patients -- the analytical part of my brain was wondering how real they were and how many were like the "a parishioner stopped me after mass last week..." type stories the priests give as part of their homilies, my understanding is that very rarely are those spontaneous writings of the local priest, but a selection from some suggested stories given to the priests that relate to the week's readings -- and how she would have definitely put Mom on IV feeding if she had thought it would do any good but that with her being so weak and the cancer being so aggressive, she thought it would only do harm. She said at this point yes it would keep her alive a little longer, but she thought it would be the difference of 3-4 weeks instead of the 2-3 she thinks Mom has now. Apparently Dr. Kahn's last note to Monica said the same thing.

The last thing Monica said to me before we went back to Mom's room is something I want everyone reading this to keep in mind.

Monica has not told her the estimates of time left and any time Mom asks her, she says "nobody knows", so please don't say any different.

Again, this is a diary for myself first, so I have something to look at later and remember how it all happened, so I'm putting it all down, but because I'm also sharing this with you, I do occasionally have to make requests like that.