Anyway, by about ten-fifteen or so I had concluded that maybe Dr. Kelly had been in early and we'd missed him and when Gregory and Zita showed up and offered to relieve us I took the chance to go out and pay Mom's final power bill and regal Christine with the model of almost German efficiency that is paying electricity in the City of Summerside. Park on Fitzroy right in front of City Hall. Walk 200m or so to the desk. Present bill and debit card. Do the debit dance. Leave. Total time: less than five minutes easy.
We came back to the hospital and sent Gregory and Zita on their way. I'm not sure if it's me or not, I'm still too close to everything to have any perspective at all, but I thought Mom's confusion was a little worse. Not markedly, but maybe a little harder time coordinating her movements. We were with her until maybe quarter past two when her friend Janet K (not the other Janet we've been talking about here all along) came in to visit and by that time I was getting really hungry so I suggested we let her and Adelle sit with her while we walked down to the restaurant at the corner and get some sandwiches again.
On our way out, though, we met Gregory and Zita on the way back into the hospital and they made a much more appealing offer. We went back inside, let Janet know we were going out for a couple of hours instead of the half hour we expected before and then took a ride out to the New London wharf for a real seafood dinner. Gregory said since he'd been there when they took Mom's vitals this morning and everything was good, he thought it would be good for us to get out for a little bit. We were gone for just under two hours total, the plan, but on the way back I got a message from Jim saying the kids were home and ready to skype if Mom was up to it. I said I'd check back when we got back to the hospital, but when we got there Mom was worse still. She was awake and able to talk, but answering any kind of questions was pretty difficult and she was having a hard time putting her thoughts in order. She said to me something like "see, I can be good" twice before she figured out I wasn't understanding and she found what she really wanted to ask, "what time is it".
I only just now realize that this was probably what Janet (D, the Janet we hear most about here) heard the morning they first hospitalized Mom nearly three weeks ago, and this is most likely just another sign of severe dehydration. Obviously I don't know that for sure, but IV fluids and a blood transfusion seemed to bring her back last time. That's not really an option this time, though, because even if that is the case, just listening to her breathe it's pretty clear the tumors on her lungs have expanded. That, and this morning while she was talking to Monica she did say she was feeling short of breath, though it wasn't any significant discomfort.
So we stayed until Janet D arrived around 6:00pm then went over to Brenda and Steve's to grab some food and just relax for a bit, planning to return right around the shift change tonight. When we got back I think she was probably worse still. We talked for a minute or two but when she started making motions that seemed like she was thirsty, I asked her if she wanted some water and she replied with something like we were talking about what was on television this evening. One of the nurses was in to ask her if she was comfortable and such, the usual evening questions, and when she left Mom had to ask Christine if she was a nurse too.
I started writing this up there after Mom seemed to fall asleep again, but we were only there a few minutes before she told us we could go home now if we wanted. Christine asked if she wanted us to go and she said no, but we didn't have to stay and we said we wanted to stay a bit longer with her. I had been thinking I'd catch the head nurse after her rounds and ask her what she was thinking about Mom, but that wasn't likely to be for another twenty minutes. She said okay and we left it at that, but it wasn't more than a few minutes later when she told us again we could go home and get some sleep if we felt like it. We went through the questions again and she said we could stay again but then Christine asked her if she wanted her CD playing again, she's seemed to really enjoy that lately, but she said "that's okay, just turn it off before you go home." We finally decided to take the hint.
I went out and found the nurse and I explained what was going on to her and she told me that so far her vitals were stable and that she was obviously confused but otherwise she didn't think anything was likely to change in the short term. She also told me that if anything did change or if Mom asked for me, she had no problem calling and waking people up in the middle of the night. That's pretty much how she phrased it, too. She did also tell me that there were normally other signs before the end and that the things I probably wanted to look for was a change in colour of the hands and feet and a real inability to respond pretty much at all. There were others, too, but they're described in a book that she offered me but that I already had from Reverend Paul earlier in the day (he'd said at the time that it was more focused on what happens after a loved one dies, but I guess it's both). I suppose I'll go read that now and probably in the morning so I've got a better idea of what to expect.
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